Welcome Luke!

It's been five weeks since Luke Jackson Lanham was born. Five life-changing, overwhelming, exhausting and humbling weeks ... but more on that later.

As I've thought about Luke's birth, the details seem to be slipping out of my memory. So I've finally forced myself to sit down and put in writing the wonderful day that Luke joined our little family. While I doubt the majority of my friends will be interested, the few pregos I know (if they're like me) will be spending quite a bit of time reading birth stories to get an idea of what their big day will be like. While I'm happy to offer up my story, be warned, you can't possibly be prepared for labor.

March 25

I woke up with contractions at about 4:45 a.m., though I didn't know that's what they were. They didn't feel anything like the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having for several months. Other signs convinced me that it was time and when Matt got up at a little later to find me sitting in the living room and googling labor signs, I told him he shouldn't go into the office on that day.

The contractions started coming really fast and by 8 a.m. they were 3 minutes apart. Considering we had planned on going to the hospital when they were five minutes apart or when I had to work through them, we were really confused about what to do. I did not want to go to the hospital too early because I knew it would increase my chances of getting an epidural. But we called the doctor on call and after visiting with me a bit and hearing me go through a contraction, she said to go ahead and come in. ... If I had only known how much further up the pain scale I still had to go. Ha!! Looking back I can't believe I thought I was actually close.

When we got to the hospital I was dilated to a two. Which was incredibly disappointing considering I was at a one two weeks ago. I had such a long way to go. But the doctor let me stay at the hospital and we called our parents and our wonderful friend Peggy who served as our doula.

Contractions started getting harder, family members started drifting in to say hello before going to the waiting room and the next several hours are really a huge blur now.

Things I remember:

• Getting stuck at 9 centimeters.
• How little I cared about what people saw while I was working through and then resting from contractions.
• The pain was all in my back. What fun!
• I managed to avoid an epidural or any other form of pain medication mainly because I could not imagine having to bend over and be still for 30 minutes while someone stuck a large needle in my back.
• How helpful, calming and all around amazing Peggy was through the process. I don't think Matt and I could have done it without her.
• Pushing was only 30 minutes. Yay me!
• It was a relief to push ... ish. It just felt like a different kind of pain to me and it was NO fun.
• Luke was born at 6:50 p.m. Monday, March 25.
• I left the delivery room thinking maybe next time I would get an epidural, but the memory of the pain has already faded enough that I think if I did it once, I can definitely do it again.
• Those first few moments with Luke in my arms were so not what I expected and that first hour where everyone left the room and it was just me, Matt and Luke were heavenly.

Falling in love
It's true. I fell in love with Luke the moment he was born, but what surprised me was how intensely I fell in love with Matt all over again.

I couldn't have gone through giving birth to Luke without Matt. His was the hand I wanted to hold, the calm voice telling me I was doing great. Later Matt told me that he had to stare at the monitors most of the time because it was hard to look at me in so much pain. I didn't notice, my eyes were pretty much closed the entire time. But I felt how much he cared. And to his credit, he never once suggested I get an epidural.

Looking through pictures of the birth the other day Matt said he still couldn't believe that I did that. I think I went up a notch in his eyes too.

I loved how quickly and completely Matt fell in love with Luke when he saw him for the first time. From day one he has been Luke's biggest fan, biggest protector. He changed all the diapers until we got home from the hospital.

Matt's love for Luke was immediate and instinctual. He loved (and still loves) holding him. And he held him so gently.

Luke
As for Luke, he's perfect. He's so strong and already works so hard to do things like lift his head and roll over. (Yes, he's already learned how to roll from his tummy to his back.)

He's vocal, especially when he's tired. And he does something unexpected every day. He's not one to follow my perfectly laid out schedules or plans, but in many ways that's a good thing. He's already making me a better person.

I'll get to more about Luke later. Back to the birth.

It was wonderful, painful, overwhelming and life altering. I learned a lot about myself and Matt and neither one of us were disappointed with the way things turned out.