One Year

Happy Birthday, Luke!

 Hmm... Let me check this out. Squishy.

 I think I like it.

 Let me take another bite.

 And the rest is history.

 Wash it down with some milk. BEST SNACK EVER!

 Luke's sweet cousins: Bailey and Amelia. What cuties!

 He got a LOT of presents. Big ones, too.

This is the face he made when he got in one of the cardboard boxes.

Go figure.

Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate our sweet baby little boy.

     I can't believe how time has flown by this first year of Luke's life. Look at that face! I had no idea how much he would change in one year. We are so incredibly blessed.

Welcome Luke!

It's been five weeks since Luke Jackson Lanham was born. Five life-changing, overwhelming, exhausting and humbling weeks ... but more on that later.

As I've thought about Luke's birth, the details seem to be slipping out of my memory. So I've finally forced myself to sit down and put in writing the wonderful day that Luke joined our little family. While I doubt the majority of my friends will be interested, the few pregos I know (if they're like me) will be spending quite a bit of time reading birth stories to get an idea of what their big day will be like. While I'm happy to offer up my story, be warned, you can't possibly be prepared for labor.

March 25

I woke up with contractions at about 4:45 a.m., though I didn't know that's what they were. They didn't feel anything like the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having for several months. Other signs convinced me that it was time and when Matt got up at a little later to find me sitting in the living room and googling labor signs, I told him he shouldn't go into the office on that day.

The contractions started coming really fast and by 8 a.m. they were 3 minutes apart. Considering we had planned on going to the hospital when they were five minutes apart or when I had to work through them, we were really confused about what to do. I did not want to go to the hospital too early because I knew it would increase my chances of getting an epidural. But we called the doctor on call and after visiting with me a bit and hearing me go through a contraction, she said to go ahead and come in. ... If I had only known how much further up the pain scale I still had to go. Ha!! Looking back I can't believe I thought I was actually close.

When we got to the hospital I was dilated to a two. Which was incredibly disappointing considering I was at a one two weeks ago. I had such a long way to go. But the doctor let me stay at the hospital and we called our parents and our wonderful friend Peggy who served as our doula.

Contractions started getting harder, family members started drifting in to say hello before going to the waiting room and the next several hours are really a huge blur now.

Things I remember:

• Getting stuck at 9 centimeters.
• How little I cared about what people saw while I was working through and then resting from contractions.
• The pain was all in my back. What fun!
• I managed to avoid an epidural or any other form of pain medication mainly because I could not imagine having to bend over and be still for 30 minutes while someone stuck a large needle in my back.
• How helpful, calming and all around amazing Peggy was through the process. I don't think Matt and I could have done it without her.
• Pushing was only 30 minutes. Yay me!
• It was a relief to push ... ish. It just felt like a different kind of pain to me and it was NO fun.
• Luke was born at 6:50 p.m. Monday, March 25.
• I left the delivery room thinking maybe next time I would get an epidural, but the memory of the pain has already faded enough that I think if I did it once, I can definitely do it again.
• Those first few moments with Luke in my arms were so not what I expected and that first hour where everyone left the room and it was just me, Matt and Luke were heavenly.

Falling in love
It's true. I fell in love with Luke the moment he was born, but what surprised me was how intensely I fell in love with Matt all over again.

I couldn't have gone through giving birth to Luke without Matt. His was the hand I wanted to hold, the calm voice telling me I was doing great. Later Matt told me that he had to stare at the monitors most of the time because it was hard to look at me in so much pain. I didn't notice, my eyes were pretty much closed the entire time. But I felt how much he cared. And to his credit, he never once suggested I get an epidural.

Looking through pictures of the birth the other day Matt said he still couldn't believe that I did that. I think I went up a notch in his eyes too.

I loved how quickly and completely Matt fell in love with Luke when he saw him for the first time. From day one he has been Luke's biggest fan, biggest protector. He changed all the diapers until we got home from the hospital.

Matt's love for Luke was immediate and instinctual. He loved (and still loves) holding him. And he held him so gently.

Luke
As for Luke, he's perfect. He's so strong and already works so hard to do things like lift his head and roll over. (Yes, he's already learned how to roll from his tummy to his back.)

He's vocal, especially when he's tired. And he does something unexpected every day. He's not one to follow my perfectly laid out schedules or plans, but in many ways that's a good thing. He's already making me a better person.

I'll get to more about Luke later. Back to the birth.

It was wonderful, painful, overwhelming and life altering. I learned a lot about myself and Matt and neither one of us were disappointed with the way things turned out.

30 Minute Pregnancy Review

Pregnancy is something that words can't explain. No matter how hard people try. Mostly because pregnancy is so very different from person to person.

My one of a kind experience started with a positive pregnancy test in July and is coming to an end - hopefully - some time this month. The middle is already beginning to get a little fuzzy, so I'm recording the experience while I still can.

First, I will freely admit that I've had an easy pregnancy. No health issues. Baby has grown beautifully. I am so thankful for this blessing because the few issues that I did have threw me for a loop. I'm not sure how women who have truly hard pregnancies - like constant nausea or needing bed rest - do it. How do they get anything done and why in the world do they decide to do it again?

Way to go ladies. Way to go.

As for me, tiredness, feeling overwhelmed and some slight nausea is all I can really complain about. So I'll skip the complaining.

I think the emotional aspect of pregnancy threw me for a loop much more than the physical aspects. Though watching those stretch marks grow on my belly has certainly triggered some minor emotional meltdowns. I never understood what hormones can do to your mood. Turns out it's a lot.

Crying at insurance comercials. 'Nuff said.

I think the scariest thing for me was learning that we're going to have a boy. I'm not sure why a boy scared me at first. I have two little brothers. I've always been outnumbered by boys. It's not like I won't know what to do with him. From my experience with the favorite boys in my life - Matt, Dad, Ben and Coleman - I know that football is a given, basketball is back up and, if all else fails, throw some cool electronic toy their way. And they're happy.

So I  moved past that fear and on to a general fear of how to care for a baby. Feed him, change him, bathe him... I think I can do that. I've read a book, several blogs and a few websites. With my mom showing me how, I think I'll get there.

So now I've settled on the fear of what kind of mother I will be. Can I raise my son to be a man after God's heart? How can I show him a good example when I have so many shortcomings? Will I be too controlling? On and on the questions continue.

As you can see, my "problems" with this pregnancy have all been up in my head. For me the struggle has really been about balancing fear of messing up - which I think is at least semi healthy and if nothing else shows that I take this role of motherhood seriously - and trust in God that he'll lead our family down the right path.

While the following could be a whole other post, I'm going to go ahead and cram in here the two big lessons I learned about how to treat a pregnant woman.

Number one. And this is a big one.

Do not verbalize my doubts about their decisions. On more than one occasion another woman - and sometimes even a man - has asked me what my plans were for labor, or breastfeeding, or sleeping arrangements. And then mocked my answer: "Yeah right, we'll see." Or they questioned it: "Do you really want to do that?" Or they dismissed it: "Well, you might change your mind about that." Or they just smile an all knowing smile.

Now, I fully realize that none of this was done maliciously. Everyone who did this to me was a good-hearted person who thought they were giving me advice from the wisdom of their experiences. And I don't hold a grudge against a single one of them. (But don't even get me started on people who aren't parents thinking they know more about how to raise my child than I do.)

My point is that depsite all of the research I did on the topic and the discussions I had with Matt and the thought I had put into what would be best for my family, these comments made me doubt myself. And that's a truly horrible thing to do to a first time mother. Because surely every first time mom has doubts about their abilities to be a mom. We're allready second guessing ourselves. We don't need others to do it for us.

So I am resolved to not be this person. Unless someone expresses a desire to put their newborn's toes in a meat grinder to help them learn to handle pain, my lips are sealed.

After all, if they want my advice, they'll ask for it.

Number two.

No comment about a pregnant woman's body size is appreciated.

"You're so big." "Are you sure you're not having twins?" Nope. Not OK. Don't get me wrong, I take the good natured jokes fine most of the time, but catch me when I'm already feeling down and you've got yourself a grumpy pregnant woman.

Even saying a woman is small can make them feel like they're doing something wrong. And, in my experience, you get half of the people telling you you're big and half telling you you're small which is incredibly confusing. We all grow a baby differently. Don't comment.

And saying someone "looks pregnant in the face" Really, REALLY, R.E.A.L.L.Y isn't OK. Again, I know these people aren't being ugly. But even words dropped carelessly - especially if they ring true to a fear I already had - can really sting,

Appropriate things to tell a pregnant woman include "You look beautiful." and "You're going to be a great mom."

Well, that's my 30 minute pregnancy review. Soon I'll be on to the next phase: caring for a newborn.

I'm so blessed.

In the family way

So, for the few people out there who haven't heard our great news, here it is: I'm pregnant! Yay!

Matt and I are So excited! I'm 13 weeks and due March 23. We've seen the baby in an ultrasound at six weeks .... it looked like a little dot. We also heard the heart beat at 10 weeks. Really fun stuff. We won't know if it's a boy or girl until the last week of October, so we're really looking forward to that appointment.

Surprises

When pregnant women say they're tired in their first trimester, what they really mean is unbelievably exhausted. Pregnancy websites warning me I might feel tired during the past few months is a cruel joke. The truth is, most days of the week, I feel like I'm on two days of no sleep and have a marathon to run.

 The other day, I cried during a commercial. Seriously. Today I was watching a recording of Go On and teared up when the main character talked about his wife dieing. It's incredibly weird how emotional I've been for the past several weeks.

Keeping it a secret for a while was easy. Finding a way to tell our family in a way that one side didn't find out through Facebook or something was difficult. And then, we tell everyone, and everyone kept it off of Facebook .... of course.

Meeting expectations

Because my mother never had morning sickness, I expected the same. As irrational as that may be, it turned out to be true. I've had no morning sickness. Sure, for a few weeks in there I felt a little sick to my stomach in the afternoons, but nothing serious. And that makes the tiredness OK. It's more than a fair trade off.

Our families are so excited. Everyone is working on grandparent names and making plans to get off of work in March.

Looking forward

I feel like we have a long way to go, but really it's just six more months away. How crazy is that? I better start reading up on what I have to expect.

Which brings me to my plea for help. I love books. I love information. It comforts me. So PLEASE send pregnancy, motherhood and child raising book suggestions my way! I need some books and I don't know where to start. If it helped you, then please recommend it to me.

Thanks everyone. And please keep me, Matt and little one in your prayers.

Daily Devotional

Back to my lesson on daily Bible study. (For those who didn't read the last blog, I talked to a group of teenage girls about Bible study last week.)

While I encouraged them to start while they're young. I admit, I didn't get into the habit until three years ago. (OK, I guess that's pretty young.) No matter what your age, I would highly recommend getting into this habit.

I can not begin to describe what a comfort daily immersing myself in God's word has been to my life. There is so much wisdom in there. Over and over it describes God's love for man.

What does God's word do for us?

I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.
Psalms 119:11

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
Psalms 119:105



 For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to confirm your calling and election, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
2 Peter 1:3-11

The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the Lord are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb.
Psalms 19:7-10

There are so many other verses that talk about how the Bible can add peace and beauty to our daily lives.

It's so easy to think that because you go to every church service and Bible study that you're learning enough about God, you're putting in your time. But this is the wrong way to look at it. Can we really know enough about God and what he wants for our lives? Should we put in the minimum amount of work possible on our Christian lives?

I admit, I've found myself thinking this way many times. It doesn't make you a bad person, please don't get me wrong. There's just so much more in the Bible than some people take advantage of.


Have you ever gone to church and left saying the sermon was "exactly what you needed?" The awesome thing about daily Bible study is you can have that feeling every day. You can choose to study EXACTLY what you need. Lost a loved one? Find words of comfort. Struggling with sin? Read about others who have struggled. Unhappy with how your life is going? Learn to refocus your life on what matters.


I hope anyone reading this starts a daily Bible study. It has the power to transform your life.

If I've convinced you to start a daily Bible study, here are a few tips that helped me succeed.


1. Just do it! Don't have an all or nothing attitude. In other words, don't feel like there is a perfect way to do it and, if done wrong, you're better off not studying. Don't wait for the right time or when you have enough time. Do it now.


2. Keep doing it. Don't let missing a few days of study completely derail your efforts. Have you ever tried to read through the Bible in a year? Did you get derailed at Leviticus or Numbers? My suggestion: skip it. It is much better to thumb on over to Joshua than to put your Bible away for the next few months.


3. Set aside a regular time and place so you can get into the habit. Habits are powerful things. And getting obstacles out of your way is important. I personally love doing it in the morning, the house is quite and it's a great way to start the day. I also always do it at my kitchen table and I keep my Bible study materials nearby.


4. Begin and end with a prayer. Begin by asking God to help you focus through the study and end by praying for what you've learned you need to apply to your life.


5. Takes notes as you go so you will stay focused on what you're studying. Have you ever read a chapter in the Bible and then thought, "I have no idea what I just read?" This will prevent that problem.


6. Condense what you've learned onto something you can carry with you all day and review.


7. Make this Bible study time your own. If you want to skip around from study to study, do it. If you want to study the same thing over and over again, do it. This is your time. Study what you know is best for you.


Well, that was my talk. Let me say, I am in no way perfect at a daily Bible study. As I told the girls, I often skip Saturday. But when I stick with it, the benefits are amazing. I have grown so much closer to God in the last few years and I KNOW it is because of the daily time I spend in His word. The main point of all my tips is don't feel like you have to be perfect. Just commit to accomplishing it.

If anyone does decide to make this commitment. Let me know!


Love,
Katlynn

Gratitude

Hello all,

Friday I had the privilege of talking to a group of sweet, Christian girls. We had a lot of  fun and I hope they learned a lot. I know I did. It's so nice to see young women who are being raised to love God and who don't mind giving up a Friday night to learn more about Him.

Before I spoke, Peggy, our preacher's wife and the mother of one of the girls, talked about gratitude. She encouraged the girls to keep a gratitude journal by simply writing down five things they were grateful for every day. I'm hoping to incorporate that into my day, too. In fact, I think it's another great way to start my day.

What I'm grateful for today:
1. My loving Christian family
2. My mom got an iPad so I can FaceTime with her
3. My husband's patience and forgiveness
4. The Mentalist reruns
5. The beautiful rain and awesome thunder

What are you grateful for today?

Soon I'm going to share the lesson I gave the girls about daily Bible study.

Buttermilk Pie

When I bite into a piece of buttermilk pie I think of my grandmothers, sitting around the living room with my extended family and all things Texas. I love buttermilk pie, not only because it's delicious, but because it triggers a ton of memories.

For some reason I thought buttermilk pie was really hard to eat. ... no idea where that came from. Turns out it's as easy as ... pie. Yes, I wrote that. I had to.

Anyway, making buttermilk pie is easy and I think everyone should go to their kitchen and get some eggs, sugar, butter and vanilla find their grandmother's buttermilk pie recipe and cook up some pie! (If you don't have buttermilk in the fridge, put a tablespoon of vinegar in a cup of milk and let it sit for 15 minutes.) You should have all of the ingredients on hand. If you can't find your grandmother's recipe, try Carla Hall's recipe at The Chew.

Matt and I each got a piece and then I took it to work.

Michael said it was great.